


Peter Hale is the Worst Therapist Ever

by homoeroticismforthewin



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Abuse of Power, Additional Warnings Apply, Alternate Universe - Crack, Bad Therapy, Bad Writing, Drabble, Gen, M/M, Suicidality, dub-con, smut-free, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-21
Updated: 2012-10-21
Packaged: 2017-11-16 19:10:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/542865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/homoeroticismforthewin/pseuds/homoeroticismforthewin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is actually just a series of drabbles inspired by Teen Wolf take your fandom to Work day. I'm in training to be a therapist, and the thought of Peter Hale as therapist made me insane with wrong-joy (prompted by Veelez, Hungrylikethewolfie, and Saucefactory- I think, comment if I'm wrong and I'll change this because I think there was another prompt but I can't remember and can't find it). Essentially, these are instances of Peter Hale being a therapist who is malicious, incompetent, and in one case, really fucking inappropriate.<br/>It was originally on Tumblr, so it's a bit... informal. Written transcript style.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Peter Hale is the Worst Therapist Ever

**Author's Note:**

> Guys, if you have a therapist who does basically any of this stuff, run far, run fast. Therapy shouldn't look anything like this. There are probably fifty things he does that are really terrible. And btw, having sex with or propositioning your clients is pretty much the biggest therapy no-no ever. Don't tolerate that shit if you ever come across it.

Peter/Derek  
P: It sounds like you’re in a bit of a dark place.  
D: *growls* You think? My entire family was murdered! Because of me! I’m a terrible person and I destroy everything I touch! Everyone I know would be better off if I was Dead!  
P: Not me.  
D: *confused face*  
P: You pay out of pocket, and you’re not sliding scale.  
D: *sits and glares*  
P: No, seriously, though… I’m hearing that you, on some level, think that you’d be better off dead. Is that just for the sake of others, or do you wish you were dead for your sake too?  
D: *looks away uncomfortably* I don’t know. Maybe.  
P: Are you thinking about killing yourself, Derek?  
D: Sometimes… I mean, sometimes I have these, like, daydreams about going home and putting a gun in my mouth. Sometimes they’re so vivid that I think I’ll do it.  
P: What stops you?  
D: What do you mean?  
P: I mean, it doesn’t sound very hard. You’re a smart guy, I’m sure you could manage it. You’ve said that both you and everyone you know would be better off if you did it. So where’s the downside? I mean, except for me losing a regular client who pays on time.  
D: I guess, I just can’t bring myself to… aren’t you supposed to be talking me out of this?  
P: Derek, it looks like we’re out of time. Maybe next week we can work on your lack of motivation.

 

Peter/Lydia  
P: So it sounds like you’re saying that your friends are keeping things from you, and ignoring all of your signs of distress.  
L: What tipped you off? Was it when I Just said Exactly that? Like ten freaking seconds ago when you asked me why I was here?  
P: *cocks head* I’m hearing that you’re frustrated with me.  
L: Really? This is the level of skill required? Paraphrasing? Stating the obvious? What kind of degree did you have to get to pull out this level of incredible insight? I’m sure your mother is Very proud.  
P: My mother is dead, actually.  
L: Huh. Are you sure that was an ethical use of self-disclosure? Was that really for my benefit as a client? Or was that just to give you something to say?  
P: *no response*  
L: I hope I don’t intimidate you. *sympathetic smile* I know I can be a difficult client. I’m defended, and my intelligence can be challenging for some therapists. Sometimes my logical leaps outpace people and I’m not entirely patient with those that can’t keep up. I’m aware of that, and I need to work on it. After all, we’re not going to get anything accomplished with hostility, are we?  
P: *cautious smile* No.  
L: I just want you to be comfortable with me, so we can work together.  
P: *nods* Absolutely.  
L: So what can I do to make you more comfortable in this relationship? Would it help if I talked slower? Used smaller words? Maybe I could provide a tape recorder so I could say something and then you could just play it back. That’d save a lot of effort, right? Because honestly, if all you’ve got to offer me is your sympathy face and your undivided attention, I have a friend with a Labrador that could do the same thing without having to take notes.

 

Peter/Stiles  
S: I dunno… I just don’t know how to respond to it. He’s always shoving me up against things, and calling me names and saying he doesn’t trust me. And I’m a smart guy, I know how I’m supposed to respond to shit like that.  
P: And you don’t?  
S: No! I should see the bruises on my shoulders and run far, run fast, you know? But that’s the last thing I want to do. I don’t want to run, just the opposite, I wanna… *blushes*  
P: Get closer.  
S: *nods* Yeah.  
P: It arouses you. To be pushed around like that.  
S: Yeah. And I mean, I’ve always kind of known that was a thing for me. It’s not like you can spend more than ten minutes on the internet without running into BDSM porn, but I always figured it’d be like… in the context of a relationship. Not like… instead of one. That just makes me feel… like defective or something. And it’s completely one-way. Because I don’t think he even likes me. Like, at all. It just *groans*…. It’s so complicated.  
P: It sounds like maybe you need to sort out your feelings about your sexuality as separate from your feelings about Derek. Maybe understanding the one will help you to understand the other.  
S: *dubiously* Maybe. I mean, I thought I was okay with it. But then… I dunno. What kind of person wants to be hit? Why would I want that? Am I punishing myself? And how can I even really know what I want when I’ve never done it? Like, you’d have to trust someone to ask them to do that with you, but how do you get to that point of trust in a relationship without revealing something like that? And if they’re into it, then how do you say “No, sorry, it turns out I was wrong, and I’m not into this after all…” and if they’re not into it, then you just fucked up a good, established relationship by springing this on them. It’s a total Catch-22, man!  
P: That sounds like a difficult situation, like you need someone you can trust, someone separate from the rest of your life, who you can experiment with without risking loss or hurt feelings. Someone who wouldn’t reject you, and who you could trust to just help you find what feels good to you without judging.  
S: Yeah? I guess that’d be the ideal thing. But I don’t know where I’d find someone willing to do that.  
P: You’re a very attractive young man, Stiles, I doubt you’d have trouble finding someone who’d want to fuck you.  
S: *eyes go wide* Uh…  
P: The trouble would be finding someone trustworthy.  
S: *nodding resignedly* Yeah. That’s the thing, right?  
P: *Leans forward in chair* But, Stiles, is that what you need?  
S: Yeah, I think it is. I mean, I don’t know how else to come at it…  
P: Then maybe you’ll have to find a way to make it work. Even if its… unorthodox.  
S: *cocks head quizzically*  
P: Stiles, I’ve been noticing a kind of tension between us for a while now. Have you noticed it?  
S: Uh, yeah? I think so.  
P: The ethical thing to do here is to acknowledge it openly, and to decide without judgment how we want to handle it. We’re both adults…  
S: Well, technically I’m sev…  
P: *Raises eyebrow*  
S: *looks away*  
P: Stiles, I’m not judging you for this. Not for what you need, and not for what I think you want. I’m just trying to present you with an option.  
S: *nervous eye contact* Do you mean?  
P: That I could help you with your problem. Yes. Now, you’re an intelligent person. You know what the rules are, and you know that I could get in trouble for this. I wouldn’t be offering this to you if I didn’t believe that you needed it. It’s a huge risk for me. But it’s a risk I’m taking because I trust you, and because I think you trust me. And because I think it will help. I want to do this for you, Stiles. Will you let me?  
S: *blushing, looking away*I… uh… I want to. But I don’t know if I should. I mean… I don’t want to get anyone in trouble, or anything…  
P: *resting a hand on Stiles’ knee, stroking gently* Stiles, trust me. I’m only going to hurt you in the ways that you want to be hurt.

 

Peter Hale, Couples Counselor to Sterek  
S: The problem is that he’s a grouchy sourwolf who never wants to have any fun, and he always has to get his own way, and if he doesn’t he sulks.  
D: The problem, Stiles, is that you don’t understand that I have responsibilities that have to come before our relationship!  
S: No, Derek, I Get that you have other responsibilities, okay, I just don’t understand why you always think that your responsibilities are more important than my responsibilities, and I don’t understand why I always have to be last on your list. Maybe if you gave a shit about our relationship you’d prioritize it once in a while.  
D: I give a shit about our relationship, Stiles, I just have limited time to spend on playing video games with you when there is a constant stream of emergencies popping up that I need to deal with.  
S: Oh, like Ericka crying over a fight with Boyd is an emergency? Like Scott needing advice about how to deal with Mr. Argent is an emergency? Half of the emergencies you respond to are things they should be able to deal with themselves, and if you’d just tell them to suck it up they’d stop calling you every time one of them gets a bloody nose.  
D: What are they supposed to do, try to schedule this stuff during Office Hours?  
S: Yeah, maybe they should! You’ll notice that I don’t feel the need to text Scott with my “emergencies” 24/7.  
D: Seriously, Stiles? Finger quotes?  
P: I think you should break up.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [His Master's Voice](https://archiveofourown.org/works/568936) by [HisGirlFriday (homoeroticismforthewin)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/homoeroticismforthewin/pseuds/HisGirlFriday)




End file.
